Where to Start
Alternative starting points, always with the person, in many possible good lives
Reframe Needs
We find it useful to start with the idea that human needs are ORDINARY, NOT SPECIAL
ORDINARY NEEDS ARE SHARED with everyone around us
WE ALL NEED EXTRA HELP every now and then
At different times SOME NEED MORE HELP, more often, or for more tasks than others
The CIRCLE OF COURAGE says that we all share four fundamental ordinary needs
Personal development is about learning to SATISFY THESE HIGHLY MOTIVATING NEEDS
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MASTERY - The need to be acknowledged as being really good at things that are valued
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INDEPENDENCE - Being supported to make decisions about things that are important to me
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BELONGING - Being confident about strong, secure bonds with loving people in my life
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GENEROSITY - Having lots of opportunities to freely make a difference in someone elses life
Talking about people having 'special needs' REINFORCES STEREOTYPES
Check
Mindsets
We find it useful to start to check in on what we think is IMPORTANT IN OUR WAY OF THINKING
VALUES - What we see as important shapes
ASSUMPTIONS - What we think is 'true' shapes how we think
Together these make up what we call MINDSET
SHARED THINKING HELPS DRIVE HOW WELL WE WORK TOGETHER
It's useful to BE CLEAR ABOUT THE MINDSET you share with family, friends, and professional allies
CORE VALUES ARE STABLE but may be open to redirection
ASSUMPTIONS ARE SHORTHAND for certainties that are usually open to challenge
We have 4 CORE VALUES about friends, home, opportunity, and community
We use 10 ASSUMPTIONS to shape how we think
The Right Comparison
We find it useful to make the right comparison to CHECK HOW WELL WE ARE DOING
COMPARISONS HELP US CHECK how well we are doing, what's typical, what's fair, what's next
From birth, COMPARISONS DIRECT EXPECTATIONS for family members
EXPECTATIONS ARE INFLUENCED by professionals, stereotypes, allies, our past experiences
Expectations INFLUENCE DREAMS, where we direct energy, how we invest time, think of potential
It's DIFFICULT TO CONFRONT EXPECTATIONS, especially those of people who are important to us
USEFUL COMPARISONS CHALLENGE EXPECTATIONS that limit a persons potential
A useful comparison on equality is called THE TWIN THINK TYPICAL CHALLENGE;
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Describe what you expect from a typical person that would be highly valued by the society in which they live, who is the same age, from the same background and perhaps the same sex
This helps create a RICH PICTURE OF A VALUED LIFE for a person, decide for now what their fundamental need is, where best to put our energy and how to tell how well they are doing
Imagine
Vision
The most natural thing in the world is to
IMAGINE WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE WHEN ........
Children and sometimes even adults play with the question WHAT WILL I BE WHEN I GROW UP?
When we see what can happen to loved ones in care THIS VISION CAN BE A SCARY ONE
Imagining a VISION FOR A GOOD LIFE takes courage and sensitivity and a belief in equality
SHARING A CLEAR VISION UNLOCKS RESOURCES and puts the person at the center of planning
Many people bound up in services CONFUSE SERVICE QUALITY with QUALITY OF LIFE
An important job for family is to hold and NURTURE A VISION FOR A GOOD LIFE for all of our life
Believing in a vision takes RESILIENCE, FAITH IN THE PERSON, and a strong CIRCLE OF FRIENDS
Effective visions are simple, INSPIRE PEOPLE TO SEE POTENTIAL and honors a persons presence
Plan for
the Road
We find it useful to go about the task of making a PLAN FOR THE JOURNEY NOT THE END POINT
Co-piloting an INTENTIONAL PLANNING for a person in your family is an ordinary thing to do
A good start is half the work, CELEBRATING EACH POINT ALONG THE WAY is also part of planning
There are lots of DIFFERENT APPROACHES and templates that people use
Good planning can benefit from some INDEPENDENT SUPPORT TO GUIDE AND RECORD the process People and families should be clear about WHOSE BUSINESS THE PLAN IS
Always keep SEPERATE PLANNING FOR A GOOD LIFE and a plan for a service
DISCOVERY IS EMBEDDED IN PLANNING as you never start with a full picture
A PATH plan is a SIMPLE PROCESS that delivers PRACTICAL POSSIBLE POSITIVE ACTION for a good life
Good planning happens in ordinary places like HOME, THE COMMUNITY, AT THE KITCHEN TABLE
Connect
with People
FINDING THE 'MAGIC' THAT CONNECTS US with other people is something that can be helped along
Some people say that THE ONLY REAL DISABILITY IS LONELINESS
Finding RIGHT RELATIONSHIP for any person in any setting is a difficult balance to find
If you ever tried to set up someone for a date knows there are at least 6 BRIDGES TO CONNECTION
It's hard to DISTINGUISH FRIEND, ACQUAINTANCE, HELPER when you have little experience of friendship
For the magic connection to happen everyone involved needs SELF BELIEF, LOVE, RESILIENCE, GOOD LUCK (and sometimes some tinkering about in the background)